Move over, Chuck Norris; Rob Kerin (the South Australian opposition leader) is The new Man. Check out these Facts*:
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Rob Kerin.
- Rob Kerin doesn”t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rob Kerin has allowed to live.
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rob Kerin.
- Rob Kerin does not sleep. He waits.
- Rob Kerin is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Rob Kerin counted to infinity - twice.
- There is no chin behind Rob Kerin’s face. There is only another fist.
- When Rob Kerin does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Rob Kerin is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- Rob Kerin’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Rob Kerin was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Rob Kerin can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- Rob Kerin doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Rob Kerin gave Mona Lisa that smile.
- Rob Kerin can slam a revolving door.
- Rob Kerin does not get frostbite. Rob Kerin bites frost.
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching anelection marathon on Satellite TV.
- Contrary to popular belief, Australia is not a democracy, it is an Robtatorship.
- Is Rob. Is Good.
*5% original content. All capitalisation intentional.